As I mentioned last week, a lots been going on. Unfortunately a distinct lack of time, and a respect for timing my announcement, have meant that I’ve not been able to talk about what’s been going on.
So, what’s happening?
As of October 1, I will no longer be working full-time for NETaccounts. The decision has been a long time coming and has involved a lot of thinking and reflection before I decided what I needed to do. I am extremely proud of what I’ve achieved with NETaccounts and there’s a big part of me that does not want to leave. It has been a great place to work, a tremendous challenge, and a privilege to work with the people there: Marc, Emma, Jusa, James and Will. I have learnt so much and been so warmly and unconditionally supported, which made my decision all the more difficult.
But in the end, being honest with myself, I have come to realise that the IT business is not where my heart is at anymore. In fact, as much as I enjoy it, I have begun to question how exactly I ended up where I am (which I think is part of the issue).
When I look deeply at the kind of person that I want to be, and the kind of things that I want my professional and personal efforts to achieve, I realise there is a rather broad disconnect between what I do for a living (being building software), and how I want to live (don’t get me wrong – NETaccounts does a lot of great things in this regard, more than any employer I’ve worked for). This disconnect has existed for a very long time and only now do I really feel that I am confident enough to start doing the things that I love.
So what are those things? I am passionate about music – performing and writing. I am passionate about advocating for human rights, especially in the area of workers rights and ethical business practices. I am passionate about spiritual learning and personal development. And I am passionate about my relationships with the people who are important to me (an aspect of my life that I feel I all too often fall short in).
It’s no secret that I am working with a great bunch of people to start an ethical fashion label. It’s also no secret that I play in a band – but I am also hoping now to have some energy to commit to performing my own material with a full band. I will still be involved with NETaccounts, as I really want to see it succeed, and, as I said to someone last night, see the product grow up some more before I let go. I also have another IT project that combines music and coding, but that’s probably going to be a slow burn.
I still have to earn a crust, though, and I really don’t know what is going to come next in that regard. I don’t have any concrete plans. Of course I have ideas. And, in my stronger moments, a willingness for the adventure.
In weaker moments I think to myself “Wtf am I doing? Why am I leaving a perfectly good job? And for what?” All I know is that something is missing and I need to change what I am doing to find it. As a friend of mine wisely says (I think it’s a Covey quote) “The biggest enemy of great is good.” I’m heeding that advice and venturing into a great unknown.
Of course, I’m scared shitless. Last time I did this it ended in tears. I can only have faith that I am older, wiser, and that this is the right thing for me to do, and not a reaction to anything sub-conscious that I don’t understand yet. Only time will tell I suppose…
Wish me luck 🙂