Scarcity

You may (or may not) have noticed that posting to this blog has been a little infrequent of late. This has mainly been due to me pushing myself to rebuild the Glance website. I have to admit I haven’t been that busy on one single project for quite some time. Late last year I decided that I needed to give myself a little more time to just “be”, to reflect, to relax, to focus on personal relationships, than I have in the past.

The last month or so seems to have been a return to the old patterns. I have to say, as much as it’s been exhilarating in its own way, I don’t like it. I feel like this week has been a catch up week of sorts – touching base with some people that I’ve really needed to, and getting some semblance of “normality” (whatever that means) back into my life. This week hasn’t been a total success in that regard (still way too much on), but definitely a step forward, and next week is shaping up to be even more balanced. Just in time for an unexpected change of housemates…

…which has been an interesting experience all its own. There was a time not so long ago where the situation I’m in at the moment would have completely flipped me out. But for some reason I’m really not all that concerned. Maybe I’m just being successful at suppressing my fear of uncertainty for a change. Maybe I’m just truly not concerned – that I have found some faith in the idea that things will work out ok in the end.

I sense this is part of a general shift in my sense of personal well-being and a healthy sense of self-worth that I’ve been missing for a long time. I am less concerned about making everything happen right now. I’m more open to allowing things to unfold, and to not push things. I realise that I there’s never a right time – that there are always distractions and things that get in the way, and that acceptance and finding ways to progress despite these barriers is simply the way life is. I’m recognising and acknowledging to myself the little wins, and cutting myself some slack when things aren’t 100% perfect or exactly how I expected or intended.

Who knows – I’m just glad I’m not a stresspot for a change. That’s definitely a good sign!